2 driving lessons tml..
9am - 11am..
2pm - 4pm..
Shiokness..
haha.. =D

shall slp early lest my backup mornin
call wont be able to wake mi up.. =P

Labels: shiokness

been thinkin too much these days..
my brain nids a rest..


i'm juz lookin forward to tml's 2nd
lesson (drivin)..
even though i hav daiko performance
at Causewaypoint after tat..


now i feel guilty..
haiz..
i shouldn't let my unhappiness affect
another person..

too late to say sry now..
hope i can do smth tml..

Labels: my brain nids kit-kat

1 word.. weird..

ytd (thurs).. i walked past some1 almost face to
face n she did not even glanced at mi.. not even
e slightest.. n i thought..
'oh well, since she's being so cold.. i shall stay
away lest i get frostbite..'

2day (fri).. she even stopped to talk to mi while
i was slackin at foodcourt 3.. (unwillin to go
into e clubhouse b4 5pm..)
wat a change..
n i tot she tinks i'm a coward..
unhappy wif mi..
watever..


sort of isolated myself during half of e meetin..
n wen i joined, not a word came out from my
mouth..

i'm reali no gd at hidin my emotions..

but as 2 of e 4 went off, i was more able to
interact..
maybe time will heal everything..
we shall c.. time will tell..


i've said i dun care anymore..
who am i lyin to..?

found tat i still care.. if not, wer did such
unhappiness towards them come from?
however..
somethin's keepin mi from showin it..
should be lack of trust..
my trust towards them has completely
been destroyed.. dun blame mi 4 tat..

had a small little chat wif moo..
found out tat e spark was actually my
stupid insensitive shouts..
of my fustration n helplessness..
i admit i'm oso at fault..
lucky i hav nv blamed any1 for all tat has
happened..



except myself..


on an extra note..

so sry to da jie.. pls dun feel u're at fault..
hope ur fren has enlightened u.. i reali reali
reali reali reali hav nv blamed u 4 all these..

instead.. i should be sry.. tink my msges
sounded too harsh.. so sry.. >.<
i noe sry doesnt help..
haiz..
hope u can cheer up.. n dun blame mi.. =X

alrites.. shall stop exchangin sorries..
neverendin..





small bu shuangs r often left unspoken..
they will pile up..
wen a big bu shuang comes along,
it will act as a spark..

BOOM........................................................

Labels: Fault lies with mi..

thx to all who hav given mi support wen
i needed it most..
whether a listenin ear or anythin.. i reali needed
them.. thx~

not feelin reali happi or sad now..
but i'm definitely expriencin wat is called
死心..
it's not a sad feelin.. it's more like a disappointment..

it can be such a strange thing wen a few weeks
ago i was hopin tat tis semester year to slow down
indefinitely, if not comin to a stop..

now..
i juz hope i can endure thru tis sem year..
light speed..

i reali muz admit.. i was naive..
til e veri last min..so much so tat i thought things
would be okay after tat talk..
instead, it opened new wounds tat i doubt would
ever heal within tis sem year..
i tink e wounds will heal onli after e inflictors hav
left..

hope i will be able to not wear my true emotions
proudly on my chest so as to not worry or affect
those who still care..
sry, but tat's as much as i can do.. e ball is not in
my hand now..


a new happiness is born.. though..
juz started my practical drivin lessons 2day..
e feelin wen i got to sit in e driver's seat, gettin
my half clutch rite, doin my turns, u-turns..
e feelin is simply wonderful.. superb..
tis is wat u get wen u put a drivin fanatic in e
driver's seat for e 1st time.. =)
tink i was borned a car fanatic.. passed on from
my father's genes..

oh.. n i 4got to mention i got to drive on e normal
street road at e end!!
though it's onli a straight road..
though i onli passed through 1 traffic light..
though i 'died engine' wen i stopped at e red light..
though i was overtaken by a lot of cars..
though i was scared n anxious..
i enjoyed myself..
i was truly happy..





for e 1st time in 2 weeks..



there's trainin tml..
not reali lookin forward to it..
trainin on sat too..
definitely not lookin forward to it too..
it's no longer a hobby..
more like work..
hope my burnin passion will let mi stay live
in such a horribly cold place..

e onli thing i'm lookin forward to is my 2nd
practical drivin lesson on sunday.. =)

Labels: 死心

2day was supposed to end it all..

instead, more shitty things came up..
i guess i can onli blame myself for being so
insensitive n naive for e past few months..

wen u're not happy with tat person,
how the hell can u smile, laugh n joke with tat
same person for so long?
sure.. not sayin anythin doesnt mean there's
no unhappiness..
but at least dun act as though u're on veri
gd terms with tat person..
HOW THE HELL IS TAT PERSON
SUPPOSED TO SENSE SOMETHING IS
WRONG WEN U ACT LIKE A HYPOCRITE!?!?!

shit tat..
i hate it wen a person mixes personal life n
'work' stuffs together..

been naive 4 too long a time..
there's no such place on earth tat has no
stress n/or politics..
LIFE IS UGLY..

time to open my eyes..
time to shut myself out :
to prevent anymore harm..
both others n myself..



onli my passion stands..
my world has officially fallen apart..................

Labels: *hypocrites alert*

durin my 1 hr lunch break ( 12-1 ), e usual 5 of us were decidin on wer to go for lunch as we were super bored of FC4.. No chio bu to view.. as complained by dear POKE..

List of debated locations wif chio bu.. (accordin to POKE n guston) :

1)Food Court 6 (Went there quite a few times recently, so dun wan)
2)FC 1 (Quite far for walkin)
3)Ngee Ann Poly (Last min cancelled cuz dunno wer e Food Courts r.. LOL)
4)Clementi (CHOSEN)

when poh lim n i agreed upon goin there, we told guston (who was on e phone)..

Guston: Go there?! Muz take bus or mrt leh..
Poke: No need la.. We got shuttle bus..
Mi: *Arm chio* (shuttle bus refers to chun harng.. who juz got his license recently n now drives either his parents' car or his bro's car to sch)
Guston: Wer got..?
Poke: *points to Chun Harng* Neh...
Chun Harng: *Arm Chio*
Guston: ...

so there we went.. on our way to chun harng's car..

Mi: Eh Chun Harng.. Wat car u drive today huh?
CH: my brother's car lo..
Poke: WAAAA.. Ur family so rich ah.. Got how mani cars total..?
CH: 2 er yi.. (onli)
Mi: wth.. 2 still er yi.. Ur bro's car which 1?
CH: *Points in e direction wer 3 black cars r parked side by side.. N somemore all got e 'triangle' P plate there* There.. Black color 1..
Mi: -_- wa lan.. got 3 black 1 leh.. somemore all got P plate..

1 is Mazda RX8 (2 doors).. 1 is Hyundai sports car, not sure wat model.. But looks like T-bird.. (oso 2 doors).. another 1 i cant remember.. juz a normal car.. (4 doors)..
CH stood in e middle of RX 8 n e Hyundai sports car, den ask us to guess.. -_-
But in e end told us is e Hyundai sports car..

Mi: WA SIAO LIAO! We got 5 ppl leh..
In e end, 3 of us (mi, poke n ming xuan) squeezed at e back seat.. N i mean SQUEEZED.. so squeezed tat any movement can cause my legs to hurt.. ( i was sittin in e centre)
somemore our heads cannot put straight.. e car kan pua low.. lol..

Poke decides to PUA STUNT..

when we were JUZ exited SP, poh lim noticed e CH's bro's car de top got window de.. so he opened it n put his head out a little n shouted, "POH LOOOOOOOONNNGGG!!!!"
Damn loud.. i wonder if CH sped cuz he pai seh or wat.. lol..

so we went to sumo house n ate quite a hurried lunch n came back e same way.. ( juz mx n guston swappin places)

Note to self: Next time muz ask Chun Harng NOT to drive his bro's car to school.. Unless he wan to tong pang his gf.. LOL..

Labels: Squeezy

tis post is dedicated to thank my da jie for helpin mi so much n being so suppportive of mi during e darkest period my life (up til now)..
So i c wat does mentorin club de ppl do.. haha.. Such wonderful interpersonal skills she has obtained.. =D i'm seriously indebted to her..




now now now..

er jie n san jie.. i hav not 4gotten abt u 2.. ^^ thx~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ too...
hhmm.. All of u r from mentorin club de neh.. LOL.. >.<
oh great.. now i'm indebted to all of them.. -_-
juz dun ask mi for B&Js.. haha.. =P




I'll nv 4get tis fateful day............

Labels: Thx to my piggie jies~

Something major had juz happened..
Something so sad tat i do not wish to relive it again..
BUT
it has given mi new thinkings, matured mi n taught mi important lessons..
most importantly, it has given mi strength to carry on walkin e weary road of life..
juz wanna say THX (x100) to my dearest da jie n er jie N san jie for being so supportive of mi n helpin mi out so much.. taught mi great things / concepts.. =D

hope tat things will turn out smoothly after tis incident..
honestly.. i wonder if i'll be part of e daiko family after tis.. =/ (sry but tat's wat i feel deep deep down inside..)
Nevertheless, i'll cross my fingers n hope 4 e best~

Life goes on.....

Labels: ultra sadness